I am an illegal immigrant. When I was 12 my parents brought me over and I wormed my way through America. We lived in a three bedroom apartment with 18 strangers and 1 bathroom.
I went to a shitty High School where my guidance councilor told me I couldn't do better than the local state school.
I knew she was wrong. On a hunch, I applied to my state's Liberal Arts Colleges. For some reason (affirmative action a big part, no doubt), I ended up at a very prestigious one. Here was the problem: I wasn't a permanent resident (no "green card"). I wasn't eligible to get aid for school, which cost $50k, and my parents (a cook and a house-cleaner respectively) sure as hell couldn't pay for it.
So I lied. I made up some elaborate story about missing documents and Immigration Dept. hicups. It worked. The school decided to give me grants to cover my education.
Four years later, I am graduating. I am 23. I am still an illegal immigrant, only one with a bachelors.
What have I learned? Lying gets you places, no one does the reading in college, and Professors really aren't quite as smart as they seem. Oh, and postmodernists are really fucking stupid.
What now, America?
